10/31/2009
You spin me 'round
I don't understand what just happened.
She's gone completely off the deepend. Not that she wasn't already walking the edge, but now she's just gone right over. She's constantly been telling me different things. Contradictions mired in confusion and vague, cryptic responses.
I know his birthday is in a couple of days. I know it's messing with her head in really bad ways.
She has the H1N1 virus, and she's refusing to take any meds at all. She's hoping to die from it. She wants me to hate her, to make it easier for her.
I'm fully aware of just how broken she is as a person.
Which is why she needs people that care about her more than anything right now.
But I'm not the one she needs. She's got everything so fucked up in her head, she can't distinguish me from anyone or anything. I've become so thoroughly chopped up and blended in with her past, I've become part of the muck that continues to drag her down into oblivion.
And this isn't the first time. It happened with Julia. It happened with Nancy. And with a myriad of other short-lived "relationships".
She demanded that I leave her alone, or else she'd go as far as to change her number.
I asked her what I did.
She said "Nothing."
idontpretend at 1:02 P.M.
Feeling:
Listening to:
Wanting: